Why is it..Part 1

Why is that when we’re called to a job on priority one (lights and sirens), the patient is waiting on the front porch with there bag packed?
Why is it that when someone collapses on the front lawn, they are carried into the house by well intentioned neighbours/relatives and usually taken to a room up the stairs and last room on the left? We’ve got to carry them out again.
Why is it that when someone calls for an Ambulance because they’re in respiratory distress, they just have to have a cigarette before they leave?
Why is it that people think that by going to hospital in an Ambulance they jump the queue and are seen by the Doc immediately? Well, they don’t. They are triaged just the same as anyone else.
Why is it that when there’s a full moon, I know we’re going to have one of those nights?
Why is it that no-one says they’ve being going over the speed limit when they’ve been involved in an accident?
Why is it that patients deny any chest pain until they’re asked by a Doctor at the hospital?
Why is it that when I’ve got something to do straight after my shift I always cop a late call?
Why is it, the larger the person, the farther they are into a house?
….to be continued.

I can't sleep!

I love my job as an Ambulance Paramedic....but sometimes it's hard..very hard. Not because of the trauma, and not because you see people at their lowest ebb, but because sometimes you get called out for the most ridiculous things.
Mr 'X' called 000 about three am one night. He told our communications centre that he wasn't well, but he refused to be more specific.
We took of and arrived at the house about 20 minutes later.
We were met at the door by a middle aged man. He looked fine so I asked him where the patient was.
"It's me" he said.
"Well what's wrong" I replied.
"I've had a nightmare".
I quickly looked around the room trying to see what may have caused his catastrophic event. But everything looked fine. No blood on floor/walls.
I asked him again what had happened and again he replied.
"I'VE HAD A NIGHTMARE!"
Then it dawned on me...he actualy had had a bad dream.
I was gob smacked.
I asked him why he needed to call an ambulance and he replied that he could't get back to sleep.
I thought he may have psychological problems so I took a punt and asked him if he had taken his medications.
"What medications?" he said.
I saw red.
"Come here" I yelled "What is that!"
"It's an Ambulance" he replied looking puzzled.
"That's right! It's an EMERGENCY vehicle! So where's the emergency here!"
He then said that we were a public service and when he calls us we are obliged to attend.
As you could imagine, the conversation went downhill from there.
Suffice it to say we left.
On the way back to our depot, my partner said that I forgot to tuck him in and give him a kiss goodnight.
Like I said previously...sometimes it's hard...very hard. Especially when you don't get a choice in which partner you are going to be working with!

Don't use BIG words .......

During my training to become a Paramedic, one of my tutors offered me a bit of advice.
“Don’t use ‘big’ words unless you know exactly what they mean.
A number of years later I was working with a Paramedic who had been on the road for years.
We attended a young man who had been hit by a car. The poor fellow was critically injured.
My partner was checking the patient when I noticed that the patient’s hands were flexed back towards his head. I told my partner that the patient was coning (this is where the brain stem tissue is being forced through the opening in the base of the skull, causing spinal cord compression) and we had to go….now!
This boy is gravely ill.
The patients friend (another young man), requested to travel with us.
“No problem”

We arrived at the ER and went straight through to the ‘resus’ area.

A Doctor came up whom I new had a sharp sense of humour.

He asked my partner what was going on, and my partner replied…

“Well Doc, the patient was a pedestrian that was hit by a car travelling at about 60kpm. When we arrived the patient was cloning.”

I cringed, but without missing a beat, the Doctor asked..

“Ok, so where’s the other one?”

My partner look puzzled and the said “well, he’s … he’s outside (thinking the Doc meant the patients’ friend).”

Continuing on his evil humorous way, the Doc then said “ Do they look alike?”

A more puzzled partner replied “well, I suppose so”

“Its amazing what they can do with science these days.” Doc said

My partner was completely baffled by this stage and walked out of the ER.

He had no idea what he had said or what the Doc was going on about.

That was a few years ago, and I still don’t have the heart to explain to him his faux pas.

Man's...or Woman's...best friend!

We were called to an MVA (motor vehicle accident) on a remote stretch of road.
An elderly woman had driven her car off the road and down an embankment into some trees.
A large tree had finished up lying across the roof of the car.
The driver was conscious but obviously in quite a bad way. She had bilateral fractures to her arms and legs and also chest pain. One of legs had an open fracture of her femur. The bone was protruding about 6cm. There was a lot of blood from a large laceration to her head.
We had called the fire brigade to help and due to the fact of the distance to the nearest hospital we also called our helicopter rescue.
We eventually extricated the patient onto our stretcher and she left in the helicopter.
It was then that a bystander came up and said that she was the one that had found the car.
She (the bystander) had been driving along the road when a small dog had run out in front of her. She was able to miss the dog without herself having an accident (this stretch of road has a 110kph sped limit). Instead of driving off, she noticed that the dog didn't 'look' right. When she went back to it, she realised that it was covered in blood.
She decided to have a look around and eventually found the wrecked car.
So dog's really are man's best friend. That dog almost certainly saved its owner's life. She probably wouldn't have been found for a long time due to where we were.
By the way...both dog and owner survived.

Two passengers...no driver?

My partner and I were call to a "car versus tree" about midnight.
When we got there, we saw a car imbedded into a tree. As we approached the car we heard a few groans.
I opened the door and the first thing that struck me was the strong smell of alcohol. This is a common occurence unfortunately.
There were two middle age people on the front passenger seat. A male sitting on top of a female.
She was the one doing all the groaning......he was huge.
"You guys OK?"
"I'm OK but she's hurt" was the slurred response.
I checked out male rather quickly and established he was fine and moved him off of the woman.
She had suffered a fracture leg. I think she was glad to be rid of the heavy weight off of her.
We started treating her and I asked the driver why did he move from the drivers seat on to the woman.
"I wasn't driving.....she was!!"
This mental giant had obviously been rehearsing this response without thinking it through.
"C'mon mate, she wasn't driving" I said
"She was" he insisted "and I was in the passenger seat".
"OK" I said "so after the accident, she got out of the drivers seat, moved across to the passenger seat which you were in and then squeezed herself under you. Then she proceded to put on her seat belt. All this with a broken leg"
He thought about it for a while and then said "Well I moved forward a bit so she get the seatbelt on!"
I don't know what was worse....the fact that he had no problems with trying to drop his wife right in it or the fact that he drives a vehicle with only one functioning brain cell!

Dad, there's an Ambulance behind you...

Ok, so you are travelling along in your car, look in your rear view mirror and lo and behold there is an ambulance screaming towards you with its lights flashing and siren wailing. What do you do?
Well, first thing...DON'T PANIC.
If you can (and we're talking about Australia here), move to your left. If you can't move to the left, try moving to the right. If you can't just continue the way you are....we'll go aroung you. Don't slam on your brakes. Its amazing how many times people do this. Due to better sound proofing and LOUDER sounds systems in cars, and the lack of times people actually use their rearview mirrors, we're often not seen to the last minute. So slamming on your brakes could create a dangerous situation.
Oh, if you are at traffic lights and we come up behind you (lights and sirens going), don't ease into the intersection against the red light. This is not only dangerous but illegal.
Yes, here in Australia you can get a ticket for doing just that.
The amount of times I've seen an accident occur for the above reason. This also means that we have to stop to render assistance to you, and the original job will have to be re-allocated to another ambulance. Bad all round really.
Again, I'll talk about situations here in Australia.
Laws may be different in other countries.
Let me know what occurs where you live.

The Medic

Why the Blog

I've worked as an Ambulance Paramedic for the last 9 years. Probably the best job in the world.
A lot of stories of my life as a Paramedic have remained untold. Sometimes, I tell a few of these stories at social gatherings. People seem to generally be enthralled by them. Well, I thought other people would be interested in listening in. I have kept a diary of most of the more interesting jobs and situations that have occurred over the last 9 years.
Hope you enjoy.....

The Medic